I feel horrible for even feeling this way, but honestly I'am so scared to have this baby. So many things have happened in the past year and a half, and I feel like everything is moving so fast. I don't mean to complain I brought things upon myself. I wanted kids for the longest time but after everything that has happened I thought that maybe just maybe I wouldn't rush things and take my time. But that didn't happen. Nobody is ever ready for a baby, and it is a lot of hard work and sacrifices. I have so many worries, will i be a good mom? will John be a good dad? can we make it through this?...
I have always tried to be better than my parents, and to make something of myself and I just want people to be proud of me for once. I hope that I can do this with this baby. This is the greatest gift anyone could have, and even though this isn't the perfect timeing, I'm going to make the best out of it. I grew up in a home with nothing but fighting and yelling and went through divorce. I don't want to ever put my kids through anything like that. I want this baby to have a loving home, and I want her/him to know that we love them.
I know John will be an amazing father, I just hope I can measure up to the standards that I have of what a mother should be like.
I really hope I can get out of this slump I'm in, I need a little more positive reinforcement, and I need to quit being so negative. Deep down I'am excited and I can't wait til this baby comes, the wait is just so stressfull, and I still have six more months. :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I am sure that all first-time-mommy-to-be's are always afraid and nervous to have their first baby. Those feelings of inadequacey and doubt are not something that hasn't been felt by mom's that are really concerned.
ReplyDeleteYou also know that through your family experiences that there are some things that you do not want your child to witness and I'm sure that you'll do all you can and provide all that you have to make sure your baby will have different experiences than you did. With John by your side, I'm sure that life will be easier and that baby will have a great set of parents. :-] Don't be afraid to be afraid! If you weren't I would be afraid for you! You will be a good mommy.